Holy Week
10.04.2020 - London
Palm Sunday
God blessed my day with an amazing weather so that I could spend my Palm Sunday in the balcony with the sun over me. He truly knows what makes my heart happy.
I would have never ever imagined I would spend a Palm Sunday under confinement in London, alone and far away from my community and family.
No rushing to get dressed and drive down to the square. No olive tree branches. No pictures and chatting with people before the procession starts. Nothing of that tiny spark feeling of embarrassment as we walk up the street back to the church. No people taking pictures of us and looking out in the windows and balconies. No microphone and loudspeakers. No palms. No songs.
This year God has given me something different. He has come directly to my heart by taking everything away from me. Just Him and me.
He is the only one who knows what I need. Him. My community. Sun (in this order)
He entered in my life with joyful songs of glory as He entered in Jerusalem praised by everyone who went out to welcome him singing and praising with their palms. Songs of joy. He told me "Be happy as I am coming".
Happy.
He is the only one who can make me feel happy. Truly happy. A happiness that is not based on the right-now (short) moment. A happiness that never ends. Even in the darkness. Even in the hardest times. He is able to fill my heart with happiness.
Maundy Thursday
Another day of sun in the rainy London. God is being so good in this time of lockdown. He is blessing me (us) with a beautiful weather. 21º C yesterday.
And again. Just Him and I.
"Love one another as I have loved you" (Jn 13:34)
Watching my brothers and sisters washing each others feet as Jesus did to his disciples was for me an example of service and love. Seeing these married couples and families embracing Jesus's commands made me realized the power of forgiveness and humility before the ones you love.
I am the first one to judge the one next to me. I have always believed I was better than my sisters and my brothers and my parents. They were always the annoying ones, the selfish ones, the messy ones. And yesterday I understood how important it is to accept my faults and my sins and ask for forgiveness. As a sister in my community said yesterday, forgiveness is something that comes from God because it is impossible to see it in the world. Forgive someone who has hurt you is a crazy thing to do. Why would someone do that? Well, Jesus is the answer. Because He did it. Because this is the key to live in a peaceful world. This is the most important thing we humans can do. Not alone but with God's love.
And yesterday I was reminded of all the several times I have judged you. These past weeks have been a roller-coaster of emotions and you have always been the cause of my tears. You have been the target of my judgments and sins. And Jesus came to my feet and told me "love him as I have loved you". And just like that my eyes were opened and I saw all the unjust thoughts I have had against you. I accepted my faults and the hurt I have done to you even if you were unaware of it. Jesus called me to kneel down in front of you and ask you for forgiveness. He helped me to love you as you are. Because Jesus loves me as I am, a sinner.
12.04.2020 - London
Good Friday
"The glorious cross of the risen God is the tree of my salvation. On it I feed, in it I delight, in its roots I grow, in its branches I lie down."
As I was listening to the introductions to the readings and the readings themselves I was blessed to feel the enormous gift God has given me this Easter. God has died, he has been hung in the cross. I have crucified Him. And yet He has allowed it. He done it for me so that I can be free of sins and suffering. In this time I remember the processions taking place every year in Spain and all the people who goes out in the streets to praise him. They cry for Jesus dead in the cross. This year I watched the movie The Passion of the Christ. And I cried. I felt Jesus pain when he was being tortured. I covered my eyes several times because I could not stand it anymore. And then I saw his mother, the Virgin Mary. Watching his son being slaughtered and crucified. Is there any pain worse than seeing your own child being murdered in such conditions? I don't think so. And yet God allowed it and Jesus accepted His will.
"Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" (Luke 23: 24)
He died for me. So that I can be saved from my own death.
Holy Saturday
I spent my Holy Saturday at peace. Morning prayer in the morning with my community. Video call with my family later on. Cleaning my room and clothes. Preparing myself for the coming of Jesus Christ in my life.
Somewhere I heard something that struck me. We prepare everything to welcome Jesus. We know He is coming and therefore we get ready for him throughout our day on Holy Saturday. However, Mary, Mary Magdalene and the disciples did not know that. The only thing they did know for sure is that Jesus had died. Period.
For me this is amazing. Because even if I know He has died but will rise again next day I still have doubts that He will. I still do not trust Him enough to believe He will resurrect me. Even if I have seen so many times how He has acted and has saved me from my death, I still worried and get sad when things don't go the way I would like it.
Easter Vigil
After thinking and evaluating the different options I decided to join your family's Vigil. I was really happy to do so and I thought it was the best thing to do so that I could also be closer to you in this important night.
I got dressed with my only (not-so-fancy) dress and put some make up on. I prepared the room with my computer, my phone and my candle. I was ready to received Jesus...but He had other plans.
"Good morning my love. Yesterday the devil was frightened because I had an amazing Holy Week and God was talking to me so much. And he decided to ruin it by telling me that I was alone and that Jesus passed by but didn't stop at me because I was alone. He lied to me telling me that yesterday I was just a viewer watching your family's celebration of the Vigil and that I wasn't part of it. Even if I heard all the readings and I liked everything and I feel really grateful for your invitation, I couldn't feel anything. It was like I was in the tomb waiting for Jesus to come and he didn't show up in the entire Vigil. But then as I was laying down in my bed crying I realized all of this. Jesus lightened up my room and came to tell me that He has risen from my death. He told me that He is taking all my loneliness and sadness to the cross so I can rest and be happy and in peace. And this is the most amazing feeling baby. He truly is good, all the time."
"This is the night in which Christ has destroyed death, and from the dead He rises victorious"
12.04.2020 - London
Good Friday
"The glorious cross of the risen God is the tree of my salvation. On it I feed, in it I delight, in its roots I grow, in its branches I lie down."
As I was listening to the introductions to the readings and the readings themselves I was blessed to feel the enormous gift God has given me this Easter. God has died, he has been hung in the cross. I have crucified Him. And yet He has allowed it. He done it for me so that I can be free of sins and suffering. In this time I remember the processions taking place every year in Spain and all the people who goes out in the streets to praise him. They cry for Jesus dead in the cross. This year I watched the movie The Passion of the Christ. And I cried. I felt Jesus pain when he was being tortured. I covered my eyes several times because I could not stand it anymore. And then I saw his mother, the Virgin Mary. Watching his son being slaughtered and crucified. Is there any pain worse than seeing your own child being murdered in such conditions? I don't think so. And yet God allowed it and Jesus accepted His will.
"Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" (Luke 23: 24)
He died for me. So that I can be saved from my own death.
Holy Saturday
I spent my Holy Saturday at peace. Morning prayer in the morning with my community. Video call with my family later on. Cleaning my room and clothes. Preparing myself for the coming of Jesus Christ in my life.
Somewhere I heard something that struck me. We prepare everything to welcome Jesus. We know He is coming and therefore we get ready for him throughout our day on Holy Saturday. However, Mary, Mary Magdalene and the disciples did not know that. The only thing they did know for sure is that Jesus had died. Period.
For me this is amazing. Because even if I know He has died but will rise again next day I still have doubts that He will. I still do not trust Him enough to believe He will resurrect me. Even if I have seen so many times how He has acted and has saved me from my death, I still worried and get sad when things don't go the way I would like it.
Easter Vigil
After thinking and evaluating the different options I decided to join your family's Vigil. I was really happy to do so and I thought it was the best thing to do so that I could also be closer to you in this important night.
I got dressed with my only (not-so-fancy) dress and put some make up on. I prepared the room with my computer, my phone and my candle. I was ready to received Jesus...but He had other plans.
"Good morning my love. Yesterday the devil was frightened because I had an amazing Holy Week and God was talking to me so much. And he decided to ruin it by telling me that I was alone and that Jesus passed by but didn't stop at me because I was alone. He lied to me telling me that yesterday I was just a viewer watching your family's celebration of the Vigil and that I wasn't part of it. Even if I heard all the readings and I liked everything and I feel really grateful for your invitation, I couldn't feel anything. It was like I was in the tomb waiting for Jesus to come and he didn't show up in the entire Vigil. But then as I was laying down in my bed crying I realized all of this. Jesus lightened up my room and came to tell me that He has risen from my death. He told me that He is taking all my loneliness and sadness to the cross so I can rest and be happy and in peace. And this is the most amazing feeling baby. He truly is good, all the time."
"This is the night in which Christ has destroyed death, and from the dead He rises victorious"
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